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Lots going on! July 24, 2011

Posted by runningforthestars in Uncategorized.

Hello Blog World!

Sorry that I am a slacker on posting regularly.  My life isn’t very exciting and don’t want to bore anyone with the minuet details.  I just came back from a week at the Jersey Shore (yes, the same Jersey Shore in which the TV is based on).  It was nice to have a little getaway with family and friends for a few days.  Nothing exciting, just a lot of beach time and a few nights out.  I did go kayaking for the first time with Keith!  It was a great arm workout!  We also went to a water park.  I normally steer clear of these because of all the screaming kids (ironic, I know, because I teach children, but I don’t want to be around them all the time).  Keith convinced me otherwise because he’s not really the type of guy to just lay on the beach.  It was fun though and I’m glad I went.  He only came down for one night because he had to work all week but several of my friends and family members came down during the week to visit.

Any who, I have taken on a new challenge!  Tough Mudder!  If you’ve never heard of it, check out the site.  It’s insane and the only reason I am doing it is because my best friend Meridith has somehow convinced me!  She said something like “you only live once” and “getting dirty with your friends and family will be fun…blah blah blah”…and those few phrases convinced me to join in on the “fun”.  We will see how much “fun” this crazy competition will actually be.  I’m pretty sure my family and friends are thinking I am crazy for doing this, especially since my first full marathon is about a month before but I am always challenging myself and enjoy the challenge.  I enjoy the pain and pleasure that come along with these challenges as well.   The best part is the exact minute you cross the finish line and you are overcome with joy and pain at the same time.  All that pain though, is 100% worth it.  I am only doing these for myself and to test my will power and strength.  I also know that these challenges will get me into great shape.

Talking about great shape….I’ve let myself slip 1 too many times these past few months and am completely unhappy with my body right now, as well as my willpower.  I’ll put it out there…I LOVE FOOD. I LOVE TO EAT.  There is no way around it.  I’ve done every diet in the book..Weight Watchers, Atkins (for about a day), Nutrisystem, Four Hour Body, Paleo, etc…..I’ve been successful on some and unsuccessful on others.  I have learned a lot through these diets though.  One of the most important lessons that I learned though was that a Diet will NEVER work forever.  It will work temporarily but you cannot live your life on a diet.  A person must learn to have a healthy lifestyle that includes natural, unprocessed foods and physical exercise.  And that healthy lifestyle must last for your entire life.

Unfortunately for me, like I said, I love food.  If you put it in front of me and it involves anything sweet, chocolate, peanut butter…I WILL EAT IT.  I tend to have an issue with portion control.  If I like it and it’s just sitting in front of me I will eat it until it’s gone.  I have a crazy sweet tooth.  Dark chocolate and peanut butter are my weaknesses.  Oh yeah, and wine!  🙂

I’ve also dealt with, and still do, binge eating.  It’s something that I don’t understand.  I don’t know exactly when I started doing it but it began to take over my life last year when I was on antidepressants for anxiety and when I went off of them it became out of control.  After doing some research online, I found out that this was a side effect of going off of antidepressants cold turkey.  The best way to do it was to ween yourself off of them.  I didn’t want to take them in the first place but my doctor recommended it because of a lot of issues I was having.  I have definitely regained control of the binge eating but it still rears its ugly head occasionally, usually when I drink or am in social situations.  I’ve done a ton of research on it but I will never understand it.  If you’re wondering what happens during an episode, usually it involved me standing in the kitchen late at night with no one around (either no one was home or they were sleeping) and I would literally eat everything and anything….cereal, peanut butter, pretzels, trail mix, granola……you name it, I ate it, and a lot of it.  I wasn’t hungry, but I ate.  While I was eating, my mind wasn’t there.  There was just something inside of me telling me to keep eating.  Once I finally finished I would feel badly and promise never to do it again but usually a few days later, it happened again.  This was a vicious cycle that I have not admitted to many people.  Usually if I told someone they would laugh at me and tell me I’m crazy.  I felt like there was no one out there that understood.  I don’t think anyone will understand binge eating unless they have suffered from it.

Sorry, this is a long post but I’m going to cut it short soon.  I could go on forever on this topic.  Anyway, I am hoping that by signing up for these challenges that I will lose some of the weight that I have gained and build my self-confidence.  I tend to have low self-esteem all the time and when my weight creeps up, my self-esteem gets even lower.

Well I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!  I will leave you with a few pictures from the past week!

Logan and I


Girls at Hemingways!




Alba VIneyard Summer Fest




Out for Kate's BDay



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